It is amazing how long it has been since I posted. The summer has been very busy with building a patio (that we didn’t actually use) and then going away to my country of birth for a few weeks of family visiting. Now it is back to regular life and the daily grind.
While I was away, I had to deal with parental health issues. My mother is in her 70s and suffers from a heart defect that affects the flexibility of her heart. As a consequence, her heart doesn’t pump as efficiently and she has developed an enlarged heart to compensate. With this comes an increased risk of heart attack and stroke.
Unfortunately, where I am from, the medical system is still a bit behind the times in some ways. We certainly have access to excellent care if we can pay for it and if we have the connections to make sure it happens. On the other hand, little will happen if you don’t work out “an arrangment” to ensure adequate care and patient supervision. However, at the same time, being a patient advocate is considered stepping on the toes of the doctors as they know what is “best”.
Being that my mother has grown up in this patriarchal society with doctor’s in charge, she has not been one to question their judgement. I, on the other hand, have been defiant from birth and with my nursing education, am quite comfortable in telling doctors when their conclusions are flawed or at least questionable. Thus, when I found that doctors were recommending that my mother avoid physicial extertion of any sort, I decided it was time to talk to them.
They tried to explain to me that physical activity would put a strain on her heart that could be dangerous. They assumed that I was as uneducated as the nurses in my home country. They talked down to me and tried to cut off communications. When I was persistent and continued asking smart questions, they were eventually quite surprised that I was able to cite studies regarding the need for physical activity at some level.
Finally, I managed to get my point across and they conceded that she would do well to walk and to lose some weight. This was good news for my mother because it was a recommendation “coming from the doctor”. Although it took days and numerous doctor’s visits, I got my mother into a position where the doctor is actually helping her. I just wonder how many other older mothers and fathers receive substandard treatment and poor treatment recommendations because nobody is fighting for them.
While the situation here isn’t likely to be as bad as in other places in the world, its always important to be your own patient advocate and an advocate for your loved ones. That is the only way that you can ensure that proper health care is delivered. My husband and I have both agreed to be aggressive advocates for one another should the need arise. In the most likely event, that will be when we are older and more vulnerable.
